True Story

[Nightstalker]

Brett Favre comes out of retirement and signs with the Bears for a season. Now it's down to the last game of regular season for wild card spot, and they are playing the Jets who are also in wild card contention. The whole game has been scoreless as it's been an interception fest back and forth between Sanchez and Favre. It's come down to the last 30 seconds of game with Favre on offense, and Rex Ryan sends in Tim Tebow to replace his injured defensive tackle.

 This happens to be a critical moment because Ryan has been running a bounty program with Favre as target, 'cept this wasn't done with money because everyone knows the NFL frowns upon anyone who gets CAUGHT doing that. Instead of cash, Ryan has offered to let anyone who knocks Favre out go to Bible camp in the offseason.

 The response to this bounty was lackluster until Tebow steps in, who on the snap of the play does a spin move not seen since Jesus Christ Superstar and breaks the offensive tackle line, then charges at Favre's blind side and hits him so hard that not only does he knock the ball loose, but he also knocks Favre's walking cane out of his hands which happens to be made out of Tiger Wood's golf club that was used to knock the windows out of his SUV when he and his X wife got into that arguement.

 Tebow covers up the cane AND the ball, and the Jets take over on offense. They run the clock down and send in the field goal unit who kicks a nice laser beam right down the middle for a win. The camera pans back to Tebow, who was holding Brett Favre's cane in his hands while he was 'Tebowing' during the kick and just caught wind of what happened, and in a moment of jubilation Tebow launches the cane into the air behind him.

 The cane sails into seats behind him and catches Fireman Ed unaware, striking his forehead and knocks him unconcious. The cane then falls into the lap of Lebron James who was sitting next to Fireman Ed, and then the crowd around him turns and looks at what was going on. Lebron starts looking around and sees everyone looking at him and says "What should I do?" to which he then throws the cane up ten feet into the air and sails behind him, landing into the hands of a couple on their honeymoon.

The scene ends with the camera panning to the right of the couple, where a baby who wanted to catch Favre's cane missed his chance and was now crying uncontrollably. In an attempt of solice, the commentator says "Don't worry kid, when the money is gone she'll be gone too... and she's bringing Favre's cane with her".


If you don't believe me just watch ESPN for a day. They'll run this and similar stories on a full 24 hour cycle.



TLDR; Fuck ESPN

[Jim Tressel]

Night's been hitting the sauce again!  However, I agree with your final conclusion.

Fuck ESPN indeed.

[Nightstalker]

Actually it's a repost of comment I made in facebook discussion, but it bears repeating because this is the kind of sensationalism you come to expect out of ESPIN today, which you might have guessed am a little upset over their bullshit about the bounty drama, but before that all happened I turned them off over other BS, such as Texas Tech etc.


It use to be nice when you could just tune in and get sports news without having to flip through 4 of their channels avoiding their round tables of trolling idiots just to get a fucking score. Now, for some fucking reason, they feel the need to generate the news with their 'expert panel' drivel.

[Jim Tressel]

They've taken the same route as our mainstream news media, that is to say: Replace actual news gathering and reporting with punditry, editorializing, and endless talking head panels to drive as much drama and controversy into the national conversation as possible.

I haven't turned on ESPN, Fox, CBS, CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, TL:DRNBC, or any of the other NBC's in years, and I love it.  So much less bullshit in my life.  If I want a score, I hit espn.com, but even that is getting more and more difficult to work with.

[Nightstalker]

Yeah neither have I really.

Sad to say I get my news for the past year or so from reading what folks post or conversate about on their Facebook status, and if I want more 'precision' on the matter, i'll just google for relative articles.

Takes a big edge off the spin the cable networks provide

[RedDawn]

go Saints!

[Nightstalker]

Oh they did already.. they went all over the Vikings and got a Superbowl win out of it.. thanks!