Wolverines

Ok. This is the problem.

School started late August and my roommate's boyfriend has decided to stay every weekend but one since school has started. These weekends usually consist of Thursday evening until Monday afternoon. My roommate is a waitress and isn't always around during the weekends. Needless to say, its awkward and uncomfortable for myself and my other roommate.

Basically, we are fed up with him. He takes up our kitchen table with his desktop computer, and two monitors. He uses up our electricity and water, and food, and I feel like he is an unofficial roommate. He brought his bearded dragon down two weeks ago and since then crickets have escaped all over our house, and my roommate has accidentally burned her carpet with it's heat lamp.

Aside from talking to him, of course, what is the best way you can think of we can aggravate the shit out of him until he doesn't want to come back. He is a huge nerd. Plays WoW, Spore, etc.

I figured, nerds would know how to combat one. So. Give my all your ideas on how to vanquish this pest. 

if he isnt paying rent call the cops and tell them to get him the fuck out of there. Then punch your roommate in the face about 100 times.

Yeah, everyone keeping telling me to make him pay rent. But I don't want his money cause I don't want to see his face.

have you tried setting him on fire?  I've found that sends a very clear message.

You could also try shooting him in the kneecaps.

If that doesn't work, are you on your own network? Trick out the router to only allow certain MAC addresses. Don't include his MAC address in the list. That'll be the end of it. Unless he can pirate a connection from other apartments. But then you could turn him in for that and get him kicked out!

Me and sands pulling pranks on my old roomate.
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Sounds like alot of maintenance just for some cock. I'd be curious to know what your friend looks like, cause if we are all good on the trunk department(and thats not trees), I may be willing to slash some prices on the boyfriend upkeep department.

Well I aint a nerd, closest I got was a geek.  The best thing I could recommend to you is to strike at that computer somehow. I recall seeing a video somewhere, I think it was on break. There was a screensaver that made the monitor look like it was cracked, and the dude unplugged the keyboard and mouse, so it wouldnt respond. Funny as shit.

Get back to me on pics of your friend.

Fuck the press, I'm out.

You need a new room mate.  I recommend confrontation with your room mate.  If she can't give you your space back, you should live somewhere else and stick her with the rent.  Boyfriend can help her pay it.

It is hard to say without a little more information about the apartment. Is it an apartment complex with ownership under a large company? Is the lease an individual lease or group lease? I just recently changed apartments because of issues, but it was easy for me because it was a standard chain company with individual leases. If you are in a group lease or not, most of them issue a certain rule saying the paying group may have no more then the certain living in the apartment for up to a short period of time. Meaning you can have friends sleep over but only for like a week max. It sounds like your other roommate is breaking that lease by having her boyfriend stay, and that can be reported to the landlord/office. I don't know what ages we are dealing with here, but as I get older in my late College years I find the bull crap and attempting to get something done by other means and being sneaky just doesn't work. Just straight up tell the problem, you are in majority since the one roommate agrees with you.

On a funny note, just cause doubt in their relationship, say he just using you (the roommate) for a place to live for free and has been talking to other girls outside the apartment.

Again however, lol, the more funny shit like above you do, the more chain your shit gets broken or damaged and people flip out, saying straight up what the problem is always less crazy.

Hmm.. Biggest way to get his goat?  Wake up early on the weekends and make some noise.  Nothing a computer boy hates more than being woken up before 10 after a full night of perusing Faye Valentine Hentai.

hahah

+1 kas for the Cowboy Bebop AND Hentai reference

o and Amule

next time he brings his computer over and you need the table
Just push it off onto the floor

if he yells at you or gets mad, ask him " do you pay rent for that table space?"
if he still doesn't like it tell him to go cry to his mommy and get out of YOUR apartment.

if he wants you to pay for any damage done to his computer after its unfortunate plumet to the ground, tell him to deduct it from the rent he owes you...

Give me 48 hours, I'll be there...he will wake up in a Thai gay bar with a g-string on and a new career.

come on to him....have him touch you...then say no....then get a police report and a restraining order...problem solved

Here is my personal favorite.  Just start unplugging the computer everytime you walk by it.  Will make him really mad and has the potential to harm components of the computer.  Also unplug him from your network connection.  You can also cut the cords after unplugging them.

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Turn off your Internet for a weekend, then Disscuss all you monthy girl problems with him

The problem is with her not him. why is she disrespecting you and your outher roommate? were there rules set up in the beginning about this sort of thing? i would approach her not him and set her strait. ether way you will probley be finding a new roommate. "might not be a bad thing"
 when you get a new roommate, set the rules up front and enforce them.

I'm partial to the Mac Address exclusion myself. He damn sure won't hang around if his comp can't access the interwebs for porn and vidjie Games.

Get a g-string (or thong as you guys call it in the states), plant it in your roomates bedroom...set the F@#cker up. Buy a cheap bottle of perfume and when she isn't there, spray a little on her pillow..then go out and come home AFTER she gets home. Nothing like a woman scorned (or so she will think). I like Ell's comment about pushing the pc onto the floor. Maybe after this you won't need to, she will most likely break his face with it.

Hit on him!! Your roommate will get pissed.. they will fight and both gone.. Problem solved..

I... heard... yah, thats the ticket... heard about Faye Valentine Porn from a friend.. wait a traveling monk.. once.
And be careful cutting ethernet cords, they do carry a very low voltage and can damage your router or whatnot if shorted.

turn off the circuit breaker to the outlet he uses to run his computer.

scrote punch him...

Now that is just wrong.  I am going to have to issue a formal protest against this suggestion.

stab his gooch

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/digitalxsiren/madeline.jpg) Madelines on the right

This is my roommate who I dearly love. It's an unfurnished townhouse, and I'm planning on living here throughout the remainder of my college days. Will (the BF) is coming again this weekend, but is apparently only going to stay from Saturday afternoon till Sunday. That's a major improvement. Also, he is going to take the pet home.

Sweet. It seems my subtle bitching has payed off. I just don't want to ruin my relationship with my best friend because I can't be a man about it. I know I should just be straight up, but it's so much more fun to be like "By the way, I'm going to play this joke on your boyfriend, just for fun........" Assuming fun is burning spite and vengence.

If I learned anything in my roommate days it's that it is always best to be straight-forward and honest if there's something that's bugging you.  Just ask Turk.  I used to bitch at him constantly and he loved that shit!  Really though, just tell her that the live-in boyfriend situation isn't working for you and ask if there is a way you could compromise.  The longer this goes on, the more frustrated you will become and it will affect your relationship with your friend whether you want it to or not.  Or you could follow my gut reaction and set him on fire.

I woulda just said something from the beginning.  Although, I have no choice but to spell it out like it is...I'm a bit hardwired that way.

whats so wrong with my suggestion?

we have a student that looks exactly like the girl on the left...weird

For the record, you didn't bitch at me JT, you just did stuff and then I would get pissed because you wouldn't talk to me.  We just don't talk anymore JT!  Where have we gone wrong?!


Get a pair and get punched in them.  Perhaps then you will understand.

I have to object to the scrote punch suggestion as well. Remember that scene in Pulp Fiction when Bruce Willis couldnt leave M Wallace in the basement of that Pawn Shop? Its like that.

Things are getting better, I guess. I'm just sort of worried about a relapse. We had a conversation about it a while back, and I haven't really given her the opportunity to do right. I just dont want it to turn into something like http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/GALLIMAGE/Funny%20Motivational%20Posters%2034.jpg (http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/GALLIMAGE/Funny%20Motivational%20Posters%2034.jpg) <----- this

And because I know your dying to see the culprit ... here he is.

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/digitalxsiren/culprit.jpg)

That boys got a heckuva forehead.  I could shoot a projection of that movie "Wild Things" on it and still be able to make out Kevin Bacon's hanawana.

Booking a flight.

Should arrive at the airport 3:45 am, so meet me at the term. I'll be there in person to work out a deal in the interests of most of the parties involved.